Where do I even begin? Just like you, I believed that by going vegan I would be a genuine humanitarian. I would be saving the animals, my body and, ultimately, Mother Nature. But boy – no wait, scratch that – girl was I wrong!

I watched EVERY vegan documentary out there. From Cowspiracy, to What The Health, to Food Choices. There wasn’t a vegan-themed piece of news that passed me by. My mind was made.

The first few days were almost euphoric. You’re suddenly aware of how poor your taste in food is, how little vegetables you eat and just how much you love a Big Mac. You’re excited to try exotic new recipes, almond butter and date “milk”shakes. You go out there and buy a 10,000,000 page vegan cook book and even fool yourself into thinking you can cook! What a time to be alive.

Well that lasted about two minutes…

I quickly realised how hungry I was. All. The. Damn. Time. Why was I so hungry? I’d only eaten all the lettuce, carrots, cucumbers and plants I could think of. I was beginning to feel like a rabbit – no, not Jessica (I wish), more like Roger. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I’d followed all the rules and read all the articles, so why was I so hangry.

When in doubt? To the internet we turn…

And what a mess that was! So many different opinions, experiences and results. The vegans vs. the meat lovers; it was a raging war I was utterly oblivious to. I soon discovered that Natalie Portman has been a vegan since the age of nine and, once again, my mind was made. Afterall, who was I to doubt such a fierce flawless female? (In case I needed anymore convincing she even went on one of my favourite YouTube shows, Hot Ones, and ate vegan chicken wings!)

But I was still so…hungry.

This lasted a little over a year. The adamant conviction that I was doing the best I could possibly do not only for myself, but for the Earth. I may have even turned into one of those people who preached veganism on their high horse… I can’t remember, it’s all a blur to me now. Until that one fateful day, when my friends decided to order burgers and hotdogs. I was at my wit’s end. Layla vs. the juicy succulent burger – a Mexican standoff. You best believe that burger won by a landslide. I had been defeated.

The point of this isn’t to tell you how bad being a vegan is. I have friends (I am using the word ‘friends’ here very loosely) who are vegans and very happy. 

I had the experience of a lifetime during my year of being a vegan. I tried new foods I never would have thought of trying, reached out to fellow vegans to hear about their experiences and learned about how what we do affects both the Earth and our bodies. It’s okay to try something new and have it not work out. You’re absolutely allowed to change your mind, make it up and change it again! Unless your mind wants to be a vegan.

My biggest lesson learned? I really do love a Big Mac.