For Muslims, somewhere between praying five times a day and posting thirst traps lies the halal-haram ratio. The halal-haram ratio is the non-official concept used by some Muslims to informally describe their adherence to Islamic principles, balancing permissible (halal) and forbidden (haram) actions in their lives. There are TikTok videos joking about it, Muslim dating app Muzz’s cheeky ads referencing it, and even apps claiming to calculate a person’s degree of religiosity based on their lifestyle choices.
But nowhere does the halal-haram ratio feel more complicated, more personal, and more high-stakes than in dating. The ummah is vast, and with it comes a spectrum of experiences and definitions of what’s acceptable. There is often sanctity in marriage, love, and dating, which means dating requires a lot of intention and divinity. On the other hand, dating can also be seen as taboo. One person’s interpretation of halal may be another’s interpretation of haram – what feels “Muslim” to you might be crossing a line for someone else. Muslims are often trying to find a partner whilst simultaneously figuring out their own values, understanding their faith, and giving themselves room to grow.
Muslim Pakistani model and creator, Hash has a self proclaimed ratio of 70-30. He says balancing his day to day life as a Muslim in a world of temptations is a full time job. “It is easy to forget that we are all ‘gunahgaar’ or sinners,” says Hash. “We are all human and are bound to make mistakes and have been given the right to not be perfect. I take solace in the teaching that Allah is all forgiving and all merciful.”
Naureen Youssef, a marketing director in hospitality and a mix of Egyptian and Danish heritage, knows the tension well too. For her, the challenge is navigating those grey areas and finding someone who understands both her values and her lifestyle without judgment or extremes.
Both Hash and Naureen feel the pressure from both within and outside of the Muslim community to present a certain version of my faith. “There are very rigid standards for a ‘good muslim’ and faltering or falling short on any aspect of that criteria can land you in the hot seat of the haram police,” shares Hash. “How you present your faith not only impacts your own image, but can deface your family so there’s a lot of weight in how you’re perceived.”
Hash isn’t afraid to code switch to survive though. “I navigate that tension by putting on my best Muslim boy face and acting right when I need to,” remarks Hash. “There are clear outlines on what is able to be forgiven in Islam and what isn’t so I just stick to what I know, do my best, and keep my heart in the right place. I move out of love and light, not fear of Allah or the hereafter. This allows me to make peace with the fact that I am not perfect. I pray, I give back, and I am a good human at heart and at the core of it all, that is what Islam is.”
Naureen’s halal-haram ratio is about balance and awareness. She doesn’t overthink every choice, but she stays grounded and true to herself by enjoying life, setting boundaries that feel right, and refusing to pretend to be someone she’s not. “As life gets busier and priorities shift, faith becomes less about rules and more about grounding,” says Naureen. “We all mess up, drift, come back, and keep learning. I don’t aim to be perfect; I aim to be genuine. What matters to me is that I’m aware, that I try, and that I stay kind to myself and others. I believe that’s the foundation of all religions and the most important.”
Muslim dating exists in this strange liminal space where cultural expectations, religious teachings, family pressure, and personal desires all collide. Today’s generation is navigating it with intention, imperfection, and hope. So if you’re assessing dating prospects through the halal-haram ratio, remember to hold grace. Because within every ratio, no matter the numbers, there is Allah and there is love.