Jameela Jamil, a self-proclaimed ‘feminist-in-progress’, is a mental health and self-love advocate, known for unapologetically voicing her opinion against the current beauty standards and the pressure that women are faced with on a daily basis. Jameela started her own podcast called ‘I-weigh’, where she challenges society’s definition of worth by asking different activists and influencers about how they are working through their past shames to find where their value truly lies.
Sara Kuburic, best known as @millenial.therapist, is an existential psychotherapist and mental health advocate. With a masssive following of 822,000 followers on Instagram, Sara Kuburic shares wisdom about self-care, intentional living, and human identity.
During a roundtable interview hosted by The Body Shop, Jameela Jamil and Sara Kuburic shared their thoughts on self-love, mental health and the impact of beauty brands and social media in setting unrealistic beauty standards.
“When I grew up, I was exposed to brands that shamed me and convinced me that I was broken,” said Jameela. “The Body Shop was the first beauty and self-care brand that I ever found, that sold things that would make you feel good and soothe you. The messaging of the brand was to cherish your body. The Body Shop is a brand that taught me the messaging that you can sell products without making people hate themselves.”
The Body Shop Self-Love Index Global Report surveyed over 22,000 people from 21 different countries on their self-worth, happiness and well-being. The global report revealed some surprising insights, one of it being – One in two women feel more self-doubt than self-love, with 60% per cent wishing they had more respect for themselves. The global report also revealed that over 4 in 10 people in Generation Z fall into the lowest self-love group.
What is your opinion on the teenagers of today who face body obsession in the era of social media?
Jameela Jamil: I am terrified. Statistically we are seeing the highest number of suicides, eating disorders, highest cosmetic surgeries amongst teenagers. When I was a teenager, I had to go out of my way and pay money from my own pocket to find toxic imagery and information, but now it hunts you down via algorithm based on your age and gender. Nowadays diet and detox products are pummeled at them and are advertised every 15 minutes on social media apps. Back in my day, there was a separation between celebrities, super-models and normal people. There was a clear understanding that the celebrities were a fantasy, and we are a reality.
But because of social media and influencers, we now we have teenagers not only comparing themselves to celebrities, but to each other who have these unrealistic idea of themselves on social media. We are allowing unregulated products to be taken in by minors. I am absolutely disgusted by my peers who have cosmetic surgeries, personal trainers, and nutritionists and who edit their photographs promote a powder that they would never put in their own mouth because they know it is unregulated.
All this imagery and messaging around self-hatred are sold to teenagers with developing bodies who do not know how to cope with these issues. Eating disorders are the easiest to be cured preventatively, because once they take hold of you, they are very easy to get out of. Only 30% of people with eating disorders will full recover, and that is not enough.
Why do you think women are always judged more by men and must demonstrate their work more?
Sara Kuburic: Historically, women’s self-worth has always been grounded around their appearance. Society has always deemed women’s worth based on their body. Although society is slowly changing, it is not changing fast enough. Society is still sending the same messaging, but it looks different in the form of beauty retailers.
J: It is a conspiracy that that is well-executed. If women are given the extra homework of fighting time and gravity, something that men are not burdened with achieving, then those are hours in the day that we are not working on our mental health, our education, our bank accounts, our business. How can we ever be equal if we are burdened with the requirements that men do not have?
The more we seem to be gathering our self-worth, the more we seem to be distracted with unreasoningly important beauty ideas. The expectations that is set up for women is a system that is designed for failure. Once I realized that the system was designed to keep me distracted from the eye of the bull, that is when I found the inner fight and when I discovered finding love for who I am on the inside.
Is there any way COVID-10 has altered your sense of self-love?
S: Absolutely. It has enhanced for me personally. Being home and having less expectations really liberated me. I don’t think I realized how many expectations I felt burdened by in my everyday life. It’s made me seek less on the external validation which can be so easy to do in society. It forced me to do a lot more inner-work which I try to do but the pandemic made me really confront myself, which has definitely left a positive impact on my life.
In your opinion, does wanting to change your appearance make you any less body positive?
J: I do not think so. I think it is all about your reasoning. Each to your own but really invest in your decision. Think about why you are doing this. Will it fill a void? I had a friend who once told me,
“I thought getting a chin altered would change my perspective, but it only changed my chin.” That made me laugh but in a perfect way to sum up what cosmetic surgery can be for some. I am not here to judge but to rather question where the desire to change comes from. I just want people to be more thoughtful about their choices. You should only alter your appearance because you want to, not because you think you need to. Wear makeup to celebrate your face, not to cover up your face. This is what I am trying to achieve.
Do you think self-love is enough to prevent bullying?
S: The relationship we have with ourselves manifests into the relationship we have with others. If we are critical of ourselves, we will be very critical of others, if we struggle with loving ourselves, we will struggle to love others.
It is that simple. Self-love can create a positive impact on our relationship with others, but can it stop bullying altogether? I would not go as far as saying that, but it can subside and reduce bullying. When people truly accept and love themselves, and as a society when we reach a place where we allow individuals to get there, that is when we will see a massive shift.