Salama Mohamed has been popping up on our feed a lot lately.
She’s been a staple for years, first with those hilarious TikTok skits, and she recently confirmed her marriage to Khalid Al Ameri ended.
In part 1 of her latest interview, which was in Arabic, she spilled all the tea and even gave out the date that they split.
And now, Nouraldin Alyousef served up part 2 of the interview. And we’ve got you covered by translating it from Arabic to English so that English speakers don’t miss out.
Nouraldin Alyousef’s podcast with Salama Mohamed in English
Nouraldin: What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?
Salama: Okay, I’ll tell you in all honesty. I don’t know if you’ll put this in the video.
Nouraldin: We will put it in.
Salama: The most important lesson I learned is that I wish I put myself first. Because if I’m happy, by default the people around me will be happy.
Nouraldin: In the Arabic upbringing system, especially with girls, and sometimes with boys too, it’s taught that you should put your family first and think of yourself last. So, there is no blame on anyone who doesn’t know how to put themselves first. Now is the time to spoil yourself.
Nouraldin: How much do you spoil yourself now?
Salama: You can’t imagine.
Nouraldin: Describe the best moments you have with yourself these days.
Salama: When I tidy up my home, I feel like I’m rebuilding a new nest. The best moments with myself are.. and this may be silly but it brings me happiness, at the end of the day, I light up candles, I put Gilmore Girls on the TV, Khalifa on the sofa, and Abdulla on the other end of the sofa. Even if my own personal space has my kids in it, my happiness comes from making them happy.
Nouraldin: Your concept of happiness changed?
Salama: My concept of happiness changed. My therapist once said that one happy parent is better than two miserable parents. The words slapped me in the face. I’m speaking for myself, I didn’t feel like myself. I was hollow. A person without a soul. Living day by day on autopilot just to survive. Then, I learned that you only live once. How many times will I see my kids laughing and having fun at this age? If I don’t enjoy that now, then when will I? I was on autopilot just to survive. That’s not a life.
Nouraldin: What are your hobbies now? Are they the same as before or did they change?
Salama: They’re the same hobbies I had before. I love drawing. I feel like it allows me to enter a world with no time or distractions. I love painting. For a few years, I lost something called passion. My cooking had no taste. The world had no colours. There was no excitement. Nothing brought me happiness and nothing brought me sadness. I was numb.
Nouraldin: But if someone hears you now, they’ll say that the numbness came from the medicine you were taking.
Salama: I wasn’t taking any medicine.
Nouraldin: You had behavioural therapy?
Salama: Yes. So, I just started feeling again. You can’t imagine this, I can’t describe the feeling.
Nouraldin: When someone says that they can’t describe their feeling, I always tell them to imagine a shape, a colour, or a scent. Use your senses.
Salama: The feeling that Salama today has would be Gold if it had a colour. If it was a shape, it would be just rays. If it has a smell, it would be the smell of incense.
Nouraldin: Do you like oud or incense?
Salama: Incense not oud. I like the oud in the winter.
Nouraldin: What about touch?
Salama: If I could touch this feeling, it would be soft.
Nouraldin: Give me three bad habits you want to change, and three good habits that you’re proud of.
Salama: The first negative thing I would change is that I get too anxious if the small things don’t go my way. The second thing is that I don’t celebrate my successes. That’s it.
Nouraldin: What are the three things that you’re proud of?
Salama: My biggest pride is my kids. I can’t describe the feeling. The second thing that I’m proud of is that I took a stand and chose Salama today. The third thing is that I work on myself every day to become a better person. Whether it’s through reading books, or listening to a podcast or going to sessions with a psychiatrist.
Nouraldin: I will focus on the 2 negative points. Why do you get anxious if the small things don’t go your way?
Salama: I know that I have a severe anxiety disorder. But thanks to my having ADHD, the survival mode works on bigger problems. How to find a solution. I thrive, I get this feeling that there won’t be a problem that I will face that I can’t solve. Except during the time when I hit rock bottom. It was the first time I felt like my hands were broken. But with the small things, it’s a puzzle to me.
Nouraldin: Do you currently have any fears in your life?
Salama: I think the thing that terrifies me the most is the unconventional ideas. That’s what scares me the most in myself. That I have a lot of creativity and a lot of out-of-the-box ideas.
Nouraldin: Ideas that you want people to see or to do with yourself?
Salama: No, business ideas. This is my biggest fear because I feel modern science and the technology we have right now don’t keep up with my aspirations.
Nouraldin: Are you afraid of innovation or failure?
Salama: I fear that I can’t carry out my ideas because there isn’t something available to do it with.
Nouraldin: But you didn’t try. You’re afraid of trying.
Nouraldin: What occupies your mind the most right now?
Salama: Right now, nothing because I’m all in, 1000% in.
Nouraldin: Can you live in the moment?
Salama: I told you that it took a lot of time to reach to this point. I learned to live in the moment from Abdullah. My son, Abdullah. I learned how to live in the moment with him. How to live day by day. There is no secret formula. Every person has their own path in life. Every person has different problems and what works with them doesn’t mean will work with you.
I learned this about 18 years ago because of something I experienced. Before having Khalifa, I was pregnant. The pregnancy didn’t continue. The baby was 8 weeks old before he died. At the time, I didn’t know anyone who had gone through a similar experience. Everyone was trying to console me and guide me through this experience. Then I learned that even if you have more experiences in life than me, if you didn’t go through what I went through, then you can’t help me. That experience made me realize that your life experiences are different from others. And I learned not to take life advice because sometimes that could be damaging—when it’s from an outsider, who is looking into your life and guiding you. You didn’t live my life. Maybe you’re older, you have more experiences, but my life experiences are different from yours. I got a lot of advice that could’ve destroyed my life if I didn’t have the awareness to say, ‘I need to tune in and see what is inside of me,’ and I needed to decide what would work and what wouldn’t. I learned not to give advice. I learned to lead by example. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I might have dealt with a problem that was similar, and this is how I did it. I learned not to give advice. I learned to listen, to be there for others, but at the end of the day, everyone knows what works for them.
Nouraldin: Previously, you didn’t listen to other people’s advice and you didn’t ask for it. But now, are you still the same? Or are there certain people who you go to for advice or help?
Salama: I don’t ask for advice. I ask the opinion of my therapist. Even regarding situations in my life, I feel the same. But, I’m always available for anyone who wants to talk. I just learned to say, ‘I have something that I want to talk about,’ but I still don’t know how to say, ‘Nouraldin, I’m in a deep, dark hole, help me.’ I think it comes from my ego. When I thought about why the small things destroy me, my ego. Because if I can solve the big problems, how can I let something small and insignificant destroy me? It’s that ego, then I lose control.
Nouraldin: Before I act, I always think to myself ‘Is this my dignity or my ego?’
Salama: With other people, my ego doesn’t exist. The ego is only towards myself. In any decision I make and in anything that affects me negatively, my ego reaches the sky. And one of the reasons I’m so protective over my circle, I protect myself and my small world as much as I can, is because I discovered one thing, I, Salama, if I was a part of your life, you get Salama 100%. Salama is always Salama. You will get me 100%. On the contrary, not everyone is like me. Not everyone who was in my life was like me. I saw this trait in me and knew how great it was—that you would get me 100%. Whenever you need me, even if it’s at five in the morning, I will be there. Then I discovered that not everyone is the same.
Nouraldin: When do you allow someone to be one of your friends?
Salama: It’s a gut feeling. For example, take our interaction, it’s a gut feeling. If I feel safe with you, you’ll get me 100% for life. There were so many friends whose happiness brought them sadness, and my success brought them sadness, so if I achieved something I wouldn’t talk about it, so it doesn’t make them feel less about themselves. But then I realized, that when you achieve anything, I feel happy for you. Your success feels like mine. I started to know the type of friends, the type of people in my life during my happiest moments. Today, I don’t know how to celebrate my achievements but they celebrate mine. Not the other way around.
Nouraldin: Let’s go back to the point when you said you don’t know how to celebrate your successes. Does this come from the feeling that you’re not worthy or does it come from the fear that if you celebrate, your ego will tell you that you don’t deserve it.
Salama: It’s not about whether I deserve it or not. It’s, onto the next one. Because I don’t see it as something great, I see it as what I can do better.
Nouraldin: But your celebrations will make you better. There is a difference between being competitive with yourself and having an ambition and thinking that you have no self-worth. Previously, I didn’t celebrate my birthday, but not it’s like a wedding day for me. Say that I’m an arrogant person, but that’s your own problem. I care about what makes me happy, I don’t care about what how people see me. I deserve to be happy.
Nouraldin: Think about what makes you happy.
Salama: The little things in life make me happy. Everything I experience makes me happy. I have another definition for birthdays. I don’t celebrate my birthday, and a lot of people don’t even know when my birthday is. My birthday is a time of giving. So, instead of getting gifts, I give gifts.
Nouraldin: What gifts do you give and to whom?
Salama: That is between me and God. But there are lots of people who are in desperate need.
Nouraldin: So, giving is a virtue that you work on. How does it make you feel?
Salama: The concept of charity, throughout my life, was always you give something, so you can get a house in heaven. Giving was always to receive something in return. I was always used to giving, so I can get something in the afterlife. Then I stopped. I told God that if I do anything for your grace, from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want anything in return. My feelings were stronger. My feelings weren’t greedy. So, from this feeling, i decided to do more on my birthday compared to the other days.
Nouraldin: What is your heart missing right now for Salama to feel more comfort and more happiness?
Salama: I remember I once did hypnosis. The coach or healer told me to dive deep within myself, within my heart, and when I did, I didn’t find a heart. This was in 2017. I was looking, but it was an empty room. But the love that I have is endless. Now I am planting a heart inside of me. I feel it, it’s like a baby heart. My heart is now full of life.
Nouraldin: What is missing in your life?
Salama: In what way?
Nouraldin: Personally, isn’t there anything you want to get rid of? Something that you don’t want a part of your life, or something that you want to add to your life so it becomes better.
Salama: There is always a place for adding more, and I’m open to receiving. If there is something I want to get rid of, it’s irritable bowel syndrome, the anxiety, I feel like these things, I’m working on them. Any people I want to get rid of? No. Everyone who has entered my life is either a lesson or a blessing. My psychiatrist asked me if I would repeat my life again. For sure, I would repeat it. With all the good and bad in it because without those experiences, I will not be the Salama in front of you today.
Nouraldin: If your life right now was without irritable bowel syndrome and without chronic anxiety, how would would it be?
Salama: I would have more energy. Maybe I would feel like I can go out to the mall with my kids without having an anxiety attack, for example. Maybe I would be more social.
Nouraldin: If you had a stronger support system, would you have gone out more with your kids and had more social interactions?
Salama: I haven’t thought of this before.
Nouraldin: What do you need to start getting out, other than getting rid of the anxiety?
Salama: The problem isn’t in something I do. The anxiety that I feel comes from nowhere.
Nouraldin: There is nothing that comes from nowhere.
Salama: What I have is not a panic attack that comes from the feeling of fear. Even in my happiest moments, I get an anxiety attack, and my body becomes paralysed. So, I don’t know where my anxiety comes from.
Nouraldin: Our bodies store memories, so you also have to work on this.
Salama: Right now, I’m much better.
Nouraldin: Do you love the future or are you afraid of it? Choose one or the other.
Salama: This is the first time I’ve been asked this question. But according to my daily actions, I love the future, for sure. I wake up with happiness. I look forward to the next day.
Nouraldin: Before you sleep, what do you think of?
Salama: Everything.
Nouraldin: Everything that you have done or that you want to do?
Salama: Everything, everything. Imagine having a million tabs open on your computer. This is my mind before sleeping. There is no certain idea or theme. I think about everything. I remember things. I forget things. I imagine things.
Nouraldin: Did you reach a point where you can say Salama Mohamed is a friend of Salama Mohamed, or not yet?
Salama: I reached this point a very long time ago. Because if I wasn’t a friend to myself, I wouldn’t be able to sit with myself. If you leave me anywhere, I can sit with myself forever without a problem.
Salama: Something I’m very good at is manifestation. My trust in God is 1000%. And my desire to achieve what I want, to Allah be all praise and thanks. But, throughout all my life, whether we were taught this or grew up like this, we were afraid of death.
My father, may Allah’s mercy be upon him, he always told me that he saw his seat in heaven. He saw his place. We were like, okay. He was praying, fasting, and everything. But at that age, I didn’t know that my father was manifesting. The day he passed away, we were all around him. His hand was in my hand, and we all cried. He passed away and his heart stopped. All of us left the room because he was going to get washed. So, all of us exited the room, and when we came back, my father had the face of a baby. He didn’t have a single wrinkle, and he had blushy cheeks—they were so pink. He had the same scent as when a baby is born. It was so fresh. And the smile on his face, it consoled our hearts. We got out crying, and we entered laughing. Then, I learned that I manifest everything in my life. But I need to manifest how I’m going to exit this life. And I pray to God, this is how I’m going to pass.
Nouraldin: I will ask for two things and you can choose one of them to not make this longer for you.
Salama: You can make this as long as you want.
Nouraldin: I want you to thank someone and say their name. Someone that you didn’t thank before. I also want you to give a message to someone that you wish would tell you that they’re proud of you, and they haven’t told you till now.
Salama: This is a long list. But to force my heart, if I had to thank anyone, and this isn’t narcissistic, but I would thank myself. Thanks to my body for enduring a lot, thanks to my soul for enduring a lot, thanks to every part of my body that endured everything and is still standing today. And if I want someone to tell me that they’re proud of me, the ship has already sailed.
Nouraldin: It’s never too late. How did the ship sail already?
Salama: I’m proud of myself.
Nouraldin: Other than Salama. You’re running away from the question.
Salama: I think this sentence would mean the world to me, if it came from Khalifa and Abdullah. That they’re proud of me.
Nouraldin: An honest answer, but they aren’t who you originally wanted to hear it from.
Salama: The person that I want won’t tell me.
Nouraldin: Nothing is too hard or big for Allah.
Salama: I know.
Nouraldin: Is this person satisfied with you?
Salama: Yes.
Nouraldin: Hopefully, the day will come.