The planning and pressure of first dates are mostly related to the “burning” hot questions that you’ve planned to ask your date, how it has to run smoothly with absolutely no awkward silence, and wait for….that cliche, cringy, kiss by the end of the night. *rolls eyes* As much as those are important, the most underrated questions are the ones that you need to ask yourself before going heading out. Taking time to be your own date and ask yourself these questions might actually make or break your next relationship #nopressure. We’ve rounded up five questions that you should first consider before saying yes to that first date….and I’m gonna be shaking some really hefty tables.
1. Am I Happy?
It is super important to think deeply and know if you’re genuinely in a happy (and good) place before you bring someone else into your life. More often that none, we (esp young ladies) believe that the thrill and fun from the relationship is going to be our happy place, but what happens when there isn’t a third date? Iss all over jackie.Â
2. Am I coming in with an open heart?
Is your first date a rebound? Is it after a major break-up? Do you spend half of your day thinking about your ex and his girlfriend? If your answer yes to all these questions, girl, you need to remain in your bed! It is important to have a clear head and an open heart. News flash, if you don’t hurt him first, he’s gonna hurt you first.Â
3. Do I need someone to complete me or complement me?Â
To complement is to contribute, to emphasise, however, to complete, is to fill up. I’ll tell you this much, the former is what you should expect from your partner. Nobody can truly complete you except you. It will only put pressure on your partner, because they never fully know what you need to complete you, except you. I hope that wasn’t too technical.
4. Am I my own friend?Â
Are you able to spend quality time with yourself without getting too (emphasis on too) bored? If not, that’ll require you to be extra clingy, and nobody likes that. Being extra clingy or needy might push your partner away, rather than closer.
5. What kind of relationship do I want this to be?
Yep! I went there! After asking yourself the first four questions, the answers will determine the kind of relationship that you want for yourself. I’ll list the types of relationships that I’ve seen and some of them aren’t cute.Â
• Friendly relationshipÂ
• Steamy relationshipÂ
• Needy relationship (literally don’t know how to act when their partner is not around)
• Convenient relationship (dating out of convenience; they just want to be in a relationship)
• Zero commitment (if you don’t know what this means, read the next article, it’s about food *rolls eyes*)