I’m personally a huge fan of the first date. Not only is it a great way to meet someone new who you could potentially decide to bone later, but it’s also an excuse to get drunk on a random Tuesday evening. But now that we’re all practising social distancing thanks to a Lil thing called COVID-19...things are a bit different.
In general, though, I know what you’re thinking: Umm, excuse me, miss, but first dates suck. And I hear you. But the key is you have to video-vet (or call!) your dates prior to meeting them IRL. It’s essential. This way, you can do a five-minute vibe check that establishes whether they can contribute to the convo (in more ways than just “haha, yeah”) and if they actually look like their pictures. Trust: This will save you a lot of bad dates...and the effort of putting a bra on. (So now that we’re stuck in our homes, hello FaceTime and Zoom dates indefinitely).
There’s a fine line with being open and communicative about what you want and going a Lil too far. So with that, here are some solid first date questions you can ask your date—whether it be on a Zoom call, FT date, or IRL once all this quarantining business is over.
“What’s one thing you want to ask me, but you’re too nervous too?”
Guys, I cannot stress this enough: This is the ultimate first-date question. It inadvertently breaks down the wall everyone has up on a first date and lets you dive into a deeper, more intimate conversation over something you actually want to know about the other person.
"How important is taking space for yourself?"
Raise your hand if you've spent hours looking at your phone and wondering why that person hasn't texted you back (you know the one). This question ensures you’re never in that lousy feeling position again since you’ll know how they value their alone time—and if it’s with or without a phone.
“Why didn’t your last relationship work?”
Don’t linger on exes too long, but it’s worth seeing how your date responds to this question. Pay close attention to victim behaviour and if they label their ex “crazy” or “unstable.” (If that’s the case, maybe better to run).
“What’s your love language?”
Your love language reveals so much about how you effectively give and want to receive love. Walk your date through the five of them: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service, and ask them which one best describes how they’d like to receive love.
“How do you prefer to communicate?”
You know, via text, via FaceTime, via a phone call, etc. Trust: This will help so that you’re not that girl waiting all hours of the day for a text.
“What’d you do this weekend?”
May be obvious, but it’s telling. If you brunched, ran a 10K, worked at a co-op, and threw your BFF a b-day party while your date vaped and sat on the couch all weekend, it’s probs not gonna work out?
“What’s a food you hate irrationally?”
Normal answer: honeydew melon.
Run-for-the-hills answer: ALL vegetables or anything that isn’t plain pizza.
“What’s the best vacation you ever took?”
Having different vacation styles isn’t a deal-breaker, but if you love relaxing beach resorts while your date prefers having a stacked itinerary, you might want to know! Also, talking about your favourite travel memories (aka probs some of the best experiences of your life) is solidly fun, and who knows?—maybe you both went to that incredible restaurant in Amsterdam.
“What was your favourite part about growing up?”
Hopefully, they’ll have a lot of great things to say, but if not, even “I loved being in nature a lot” gives you something to work with!
“What’s your sign?”
Hey, astrological compatibility is a thing! But what’s even more important than knowing if they’re a Gemini or a Scorpio is if they’re the kind of annoying person who’ll judge you for reading your daily horoscope.
“What’s the last thing that made you laugh hysterically?”
This is a solid way to know if your senses of humour mesh! Because if they do, that is ~magical~ (and also a great reason to text each other memes after the date).
“What’s your opinion on [a small life problem you’re having]?”
Obvs, don’t unload some heavy, superpersonal issues to a stranger, but if you’re genuinely unsure how to deal with a pesky roommate or micromanage-y coworker and it’s at the forefront of your mind anyway, why not ask? One of the best things about having a partner is that they can put things in perspective and be a solid source of support—if they either can’t do that or somehow get angrier than you are, oof.
“Are you a morning or night person?”
Is the second date going to be at, like, 6:30 p.m. because they have to squeeze in a workout the next day, or can you chill and talk till 3 a.m. without fear you’re hindering sleep? It’s not the biggest hurdle to overcome, but it’s nice to get a sense of if your general lifestyles match up.
“Do you like your job?”
This might seem basic, but the answer can reveal a lot about a person’s personality type. For instance, if they hate their job but are doing something to try and get a new one, that’s a good sign they aren’t going to be bitter and terrible and pessimistic. It also shows they have ambition, which, if that’s what you’re into, is great! Or maybe they don’t care much about their job at all, because work is something they just do to fund their personal life. In any case, you want to get a sense for how much work factors into a person’s life pretty early on.
Via Cosmopolitan US