As the weather gets colder and we’re slowly nearing February, a month filled with romance (thanks to Valentine’s Day.) You’ll find that suddenly everyone around you has a partner.
Snuggled up in their winter fits and posting pics with hashtags #couplegoals, it’s officially the period of ‘cuffing season.’
If you haven’t heard of cuffing season before, licensed clinical psychologist Dara Bushman, PsyD. defines it as a time “when people start to want to be tied down in a serious relationship. The cold weather and lack of outdoors and sunshine causes singles to become lonely and desperate.”
Getty Images, Katie Buckleitner
While cuffing season can be bittersweet for any singles out there, it’s an equally confusing time for couples. What if you like your s/o enough to continue your relationship past March? How do you define the relationship? And how do you avoid being stuck in a 6-month-long situationship?
Worry not, Cosmo ME asked two love experts on cuffing season, the psychological reasons behind it, and how important it is to practice self-love around the holiday season.
Scroll down below to find out more…
Why do people tend to feel lonelier during the winter period?
Pashmi Khare, a CDA-licensed Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre in Dubai explains that “often people are away from family for work or studying and having someone, in general, helps with the need for connection. Holidays can especially make loneliness more pronounced for multiple reasons. If they are away from family, this connection can provide a sense of belongingness and if they are with family, it can provide a sense of growth, progress, or accomplishment in life.”
The Dubai Matchmaker Christiana Maxion also adds that “if you have a s/o at a gathering or the pressure for plus-one invites to holiday parties, it weighs heavily on some people which can then result in the pressure to ‘cuff’ up.”
Why is there an increase in people “coupling up” during the winter period?
“Being single can sometimes be perceived as a failure in social context and having someone as a partner secures a person from this sense of loss, which is a win! And if it doesn’t work out as expected it anyways has a predictable end, which is again a sense of safety (another win),” says Pashmi Khare from Thrive Wellbeing Centre.
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What’s the psychological reason behind why people might partake in “cuffing season”, where they’re only committing to a month-long relationship with an expiration date?
Christiana Maxion argues “I don’t think that cuffing season is only one month. I like to define cuffing season as the end to ‘summer slay’ and the desire for ‘winter stay’.”
She gives a sports analogy to fully ~explain~ why we have this *need* to date:
“August: Scouting—seeing what’s swimming in the pool
September: Drafting—the start of the dating process which includes lots of first dates
October: Tryouts—seeing if any of those first dates are leading into seconds, thirds, and beyond
November: Preseason—choosing your top one or two candidates to see who is cuff-worthy
December: Height of the season—secured plus one to holiday parties or vacation getaways
January: Playoffs—holidays are over, can this partner not only keep you warm in the colder months but will they last the dark winter months?
February: Championship—the beginning of this month is where a lot of cuffs can be unlinked with the pressure of Valentine’s day approaching and the significance the holiday has with locking down a committed relationship
February 14th: Championship game! If you make it to Valentine’s Day this relationship may have legs to last…emphasis on may
If not… people usually use Feb and March to get their bums in the gym and gear up to search for suitors in the coming warmer months.”
Do you think there is an absence of self-love in people who don’t want to be alone during the holiday season?
Getty Images, Esther Faciane
“This could be one of the causes of the loneliness that leads to cuffing. Self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance are very important for one’s well-being” states Pashmi.
Christiana, on the other hand, “wouldn’t declare it as an absence of self-love but rather a desire for companionship. Love is a human need, whether you’re giving yourself love or craving it from another person.”
Is “cuffing season” a bad thing?
“I think it’s not really a bad thing. It makes it safe for them as it takes care of the hard part of a dysfunctional relationship – ending it. One can always extend the expiration date if both parties agree,” Pashmi, a CDA-licensed Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre comments.
Cosmo ME also asked Christiana whether or not cuffing season could be toxic: “not at all! Who doesn’t love to ‘play house’ with someone and feel or be loved? There is no better feeling than MUTUAL acts of love: being or showing love, appreciation, and adoration.
The con of having a cuff is if you have an insecure attachment style and find it difficult to detach from a relationship that has signs of an expected expiration date.”
Getty Images, Nico De Pasquale