Whether you fear him or long for him…the 6’5″, blue-eyed man in finance has come to claim finance boy summer. But despite the funny memes (and that catchy tune), the explosive TikTok trend underscores an important conversation around the changing attitudes of young women regarding their finances.
“Whether it’s the current apathy for corporate life, the rise of tradwife living, or living in the leisurely playground that is the UAE, it’s safe to say that finding a man with a trust fund is aspirational for some women in the region”, says financial literacy specialist Uneesa Zaman.
For many, there’s no denying the appeal of a man in finance. After all, a strong woman can be independent in her own right, even if she relies financially on a man. But the gender pay gap, pension gap, and investment gap have never been more relevant, and perhaps it’s time we reclaim agency over how we interact with finances in relationships.
Should we merge finances with our partner? Should we invest as a couple? Should we keep a secret get out fund from our partner? With life expectancy increasing and women outliving men by an average of three years, coupled with the escalating cost of living, planning ahead is crucial. By engaging in conversations about your finances and fostering a healthier relationship with money, you can truly pave the way to building the life you desire.
@girl_on_couch Oh wait … I wrote it 🤣
The internet’s influence on money mindset
Globally, 63% of women admit to deferring long-term financial responsibilities to their husband or partners, according to a study by UBS (2022). Securing yourself a ‘man in finance’, or relying on someone else for financial security, “is a far cry from what the potential reality could be”, says Uneesa. A recent study by pension provider Scottish Widows (2023) highlights how the average 20-year-old woman is on track to be £100k poorer than her male counterpart. A McKinsey report shows that less than 10% of senior managers in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and the UAE are women. And over 85% of GCC-listed companies have zero female board members. Ouch. It appears that the top of the financial food chain is still a bit of a boys’ club.
The finance bro renaissance, it seems, is yet another example of our generation’s financial anxieties manifesting themselves in funny TikTok trends. Although being financially dependent on a husband or partner has long been a customary and traditional practice in many parts of the world, young women’s recent interest in a ‘soft’ life is perhaps a new era that is rejecting what we know of hustle culture. The soft life suggests – working within your contracted hours, choosing less demanding careers, and investing in the present moment rather than hoarding funds for an uncertain future.
Then, of course, came girl math, a rationalisation of self-serving spending habits that rejected complex notions of saving, investing and budgeting. Hot on its heels, soft saving emerged as the soft life’s answer to finances, suggesting spending on the now, instead of worrying about what’s to come. These internet finance trends grew in correlation with the likes of quiet quitting and tradwife trends (your obsession with Nara Smith is absolutely justified, by the way), all of which seemingly revert back to a time when women weren’t as financially active, and instead realized upon their own man in finance.
Whilst there is no definite right or wrong to how you manage finances as a couple, perhaps weighing up your options, and vocalising your concerns with your partner is the best place to start.
Should you merge your finances as a couple?
Deciding whether to merge finances with your partner is a personal decision that depends on various factors. Uneessa recommends that before you consider embarking on this journey, consider the following:
- How long have you been with your partner?
- What is your/your partner’s relationship with money like?
- How well do they manage their money separately? Are they a spender or saver?
- What are your agreed shared costs and financial goals?
- Are you or your partner currently in debt?
- Will costs be split based on equity or equally?
Remember, having a joint account does not mean you can’t have your own personal account. Here are some pros and cons to consider:
Pros of merging finances with your partner:
- Simplified Budgeting: A joint account can make tracking expenses and budgeting more straightforward if you live together.
- Shared Goals: Pooling resources can help couples work towards common financial goals, such as buying a home or saving for a child’s education.
- Transparency: Merging finances fosters transparency and trust, reducing financial secrecy and potential conflicts.
Cons of merging finances with your partner:
- Loss of Independence: Some feel a loss of financial autonomy and independence.
- Disparity in Spending Habits: Different spending habits can lead to conflicts if not managed properly.
- Complexity in Separation: If the relationship ends, separating joint finances can be complicated and stressful.
Should you invest as a couple?
Interestingly, there is a common misconception that women are risk-averse and “too scared” to invest. But the fact of the matter is once a woman understands the mechanics behind investing, she performs 0.4% better than the average man, every year (Fidelity Investments, 2024). Perhaps then it is not the sentiments to risk that is the problem, but rather the access to adequate financial literacy. It’s the age old “I don’t know what I don’t know.”
Investing can be a daunting experience when you’re unsure of how to kick-start your wealth-building journey. Something really great about investing as a couple however, is sharing not just in the investment and gains, but the losses that can occur too – learning more about how you work together as a couple to secure your financial future.
Investing as a couple however, does require careful planning and communication. Here are some essential do’s and don’ts to consider before making the jump:
Do’s:
- Set Common Goals: Establish mutual financial goals and timelines. Whether it’s buying property, saving for retirement, or travelling, having shared objectives ensures both partners are on the same page.
- Diversify Investments: Diversification reduces risk. Consider a mix of stocks, bonds, real estate, and other assets to balance potential returns and risks.
- Regular Reviews: Periodically review your investments together to track progress and make adjustments as needed.
Don’ts:
- Avoid Hidden Debts: Be transparent about any debts. Hidden financial obligations can lead to trust issues and impact your investment strategy.
- Don’t Rely on One Partner: Both partners should be involved in investment decisions to ensure mutual understanding and agreement.
- Avoid Emotional Decisions: Investing can be emotional, especially during market fluctuations. Stick to your strategy and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.
Being in a couple can help share the heavy lifting of the cost of living, but that’s only if you approach the topic with a decisive understanding of what you each want, you can develop a deeper understanding of one another and your personal finances.
Advice and research provided by Uneesa Zaman (@uneesa.finance). Take your next financial step with Uneesa here.