When it comes to dating, Gen Z is singlehandedly reinventing the wheel. Gone are the days of plain old dating, and instead, Gen Z has ushered in a new era…one where your s/o needs rizz, your situationship needs soft launching and ghosting is replaced by quiet dumping.
Keeping up with the Gen Z dating multiverse is a ~sport~. Gen Z’s unique mindset has blurred the lines of traditional dating milestones from previous generations. And with TikTok continuously churning out new phrases and approaches in the realm of dating, it appears the landscape is ever-evolving.
Here’s your fool-proof guide to the Gen Z dating world, breaking down each calculated lingo and maneuver to help you navigate the intricacies of this new age of love.
Submarining
If love bombing and ghosting are toxic, meet its younger brother, who twists these in a not-so-kind-to-the-heart way. While situationships are the new norm, they tend to form an emotional attachment that ultimately leaves one person down bad for months. Submarining is when someone ghosts you, only to come back a short while later. And so the toxic cycle continues. So if you’ve spent sleepless nights pining over the “label”, they’re sure to make an appearance again and act like nothing ever happened.
Quiet Dumping
A by-product of the TikTok quiet quitting trend, quiet dumping is when a person distances themselves in a relationship, hoping that the other person will become aware of the problem on their own and, in the best case, end the relationship themselves. Ouch.
Quiet dumping actually seems more painful for the other party that ghosting. Psychology Today even goes as far as suggesting that this slow phasing out of a relationship is a form of gaslighting. One thing’s for sure, the attempt to avoid *that* breakup talk is SO Gen Z-coded.
@sahilbloom Something important to know about! #relationships #relations #dating #significantother ♬ original sound – Sahil Bloom
Micro-Cheating
Micro-cheating involves actions that aren’t necessarily cheating, but it feels like we’re getting awfully close to that area. We’ve *all* either done it or had it happen to us – liking someone’s IG pic that we maybe shouldn’t have, sliding into someone’s DMs, or just a bit of (seemingly harmless) flirting. These actions aren’t as blatant or serious as actual infidelity, but they feel like a betrayal in themselves.
Micro-flirting
Similiar to micro-cheating, micro-flirting is a subtle, not-so-obvious way to show you’re interested in a person. Relationship coach Jonathan Hartley from PositivesDating says micro-flirting will be on the rise in 2024, and is “excellent if you want to protect yourself from rejection”. Examples of micro-flirting include noticing small details that have changed, subtle changes in body language when the other person is around or becoming defensive or protective of the other person.
@baldiyadi signs hes micro-flirting #flirting #relationship ♬ original sound – yadi
The relationship launch pipeline
Gone are the days of pondering our Facebook relationship status update, and instead we’re faced with a new dilemma: do we soft launch or hard launch our relationship? Hard launching is a sudden and purposeful announcement of a new relationship, usually announced via an IG post of their partner. A soft launch is a subtle hint of a new relationship, such as a picture of a leg or arm in a photo of a restaurant.
Benching
In the brutal non-committal world of Gen Z dating, benching is when someone is liked enough to keep seeing them, but not enough to be in a serious relationship with them. Essentially, benching means they’re kept as a backup option while still dating around. It’s like being picked last or benched on a sports team, only meaner, and with more complications involved.
Contra-dating
Contra-dating means branching out and contradicting yourself and your usual type, by going for someone you wouldn’t usually go for. Relationship coach Jonathan Hartley from PositivesDating says “having a type when looking for a romantic connection is very normal. However, this can narrow down the dating pool and decrease your chances of finding a potential partner. If your preferences are all physical, it is best to reevaluate and open up to some other potential candidates”.
“Physical attributes will change over time, and core values will remain the same. It is best to remember that emotional connection, beliefs, and reciprocity affect your physical attraction to someone. Furthermore, dating someone not your type may indicate to yourself that what you want is not what you necessarily need. You may experience a different outlook on life and relationships or even be exposed to activities, foods, or hobbies you usually would have passed on”.
And that’s on…age gaps
According to Bumble, Gen Z’ers are widening their age range filters on dating apps, with over 63% of people surveyed revealing that age is not a defining factor when dating. Celebrity couple age gaps are often idolized online, such as Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds and Beyonce and Jay-Z. Users realize that what partner has to offer is less about age and more about values and personal goals.
Slow dating
Slow dating is to the soft life what quiet dumping is to quiet quitting. To slow date simply means to adopt to the principles of a soft life, living for yourself and rejecting fast-paced, hustle culture mentality. Relationship coach Jonathan Hartley from PositivesDating says that “experiences such as ghosting can impact mental health and the dating experience can become very draining. This is why it is vital to protect yourself and prioritize self-care. The build-up to creating a connection with a partner can be overwhelming; if it does not go well, it can be mentally draining, which is why slow is best”.
@sabrina.zohar 3 examples of going slow in dating. #goslow #anxiousattachment #datingtips #datingadvice #fyp #datingadviceforwomen #relationship #securedating ♬ original sound – Sabrina Zohar
According to a survey carried out by dating site Bumble, 58% of users are becoming more self-aware and cautious when dating to protect their mental health. They also found that 31% of users surveyed are ‘slow dating’, the term used for when one is more considerate of how often they go on dates and generally takes things slow to build an emotional connection in a pressure-free and relaxed environment.
Women are from Mars, men are from women…
Gen Z is saying buh-bye to toxic masculinity for good. According to relationship coach Jonathan Hartley, “2024 could be the year when men realize that vulnerability is vital to improving relationships and breaking cycles of toxic mentalities that can plague young men”. Thank you, Barbie movie (!!)
Vulnerability is an essential aspect of any relationship, so placing a premium on emotional connection is well and truly at the top of the agenda in the Gen Z dating world. PERIODT.
Your love life may be written in the stars, but did you know your vacation is, too? Check out where to travel according to your Zodiac sign here!