I'll be real, I'm as big a sucker for a freebie as the next guy or gal, so when I heard that McDonald's was dishing out freebies left, right and centre, I sacked off Veganuary faster than you can say 'Ronald McDonald' and dashed down to my nearest Maccas...
But what are they giving out I hear you cry?
Well, all of this week they are giving out free coffee between 6am and 10am. I am not ashamed to say that I had two this morning. So let's all get our caffeine fixes on the go, while remaining thrifty this January.
The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. In this instance, the pudding is a Tweet...
Get your morning fix for Free starting from 9th January – 15th January! pic.twitter.com/736rKaMAz8— McDonald's UAE (@McDonaldsUAE) January 7, 2018
And the giving doesn't stop there!
On January 16 if you pitch up at McDonald's and tell a 'Why did the chicken cross the road' joke, you will be the lucky recipient of a free chicken schnitzel, which is a brand new item on the menu.
Now, there are some terms and conditions, because, of course...
First of all, you will be filmed telling your joke, so the camera-shy need not apply.
Plus, there is a limited number of 100 schnitzels being handed out and they're only offering them at the JBR branch. But if you're in the area, feeling funny and camera ready, lunch could be free next week!
Allow us to give you some comedy inspiration...
I've done most of the hard-boiled work for you, and looked up some of the most cracking jokes on the internet, just in case you can't hatch any of your own. I don't want to be cocky, but I am quite good at egging people on, so enjoy...
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road? Poultry in motion!
How did the egg get up the mountain? It scrambled up!
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs!
How did the chicken get off Sheikh Zayed Road? It went through the eggs-it!
If apples comes from an apple tree, what kind of a tree does a chicken come from? A poul-tree!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road? She was afraid someone would Caesar!
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken! Chicken who? Chicken your pockets, keys might be there!
Big shout out to the Egg Farmers of Alberta, for being the unlikely source of a lot of my comedy gold here...