Recently, I was ranting to my friend about always ending up in the ‘friend-zone’ with guys. I couldn’t fathom, how or why I kept being asked to be friends, instead of anything else. Apparently I’m fun, they enjoy my company, but I’m not quite partner material.
So much so, that when I recently had set up a date (I seized the day, and asked him out), my mother said ‘oh good for you Cait, another male friend!’
Turns out, Mum was right (as always) and I was swiftly migrated into the friend-zone.
So I was chatting away with my pal Jade, who seemed to enjoy my predicament, and decided to chat to me live on air, on Dance FM UAE – about just that.
Speaking to the breakfast crew, I was retelling the story, how I instigated the first date, then he the second and third, when Jade’s co-host Nugget, the blunt yet articulate American, swiftly informed me – that I should not be asking guys out. Rather, they want the chase, and I should cease any approach in which I instigate the social outings, or risk inhabiting the friend-zone for life.
Well, I didn’t enjoy that response, replying (go me) ‘The 1950s called – they want their sentiment back’.
But it got me thinking, and people talking – about when it’s okay for women to ask men out. It is 2019 after all, BUT it seems like it’s an eternal debate, guys want the chase, do we give them the chase or do we take charge of a situation?
The Dance FM brekky crew took a poll on air, with some saying they’d asked out their now-husbands, others flatly refused – opinions were divided.
I like feeling in control, taking charge; it’s how I’ve forged my career in journalism, but when it comes to dating, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe men don’t legit want a woman to take charge of a situation, they want to feel a chase, a challenge, and women shouldn’t give too much away… but maybe… I don’t care?
I mean, snooze. It’s 2019. We’re power-houses, running countries, changing lives, being CEOs, MDs, #MeToo-ing and saving the world; as Queen Bey so articulately asks: ‘Who run the world? Girls.’
Apparently we can vote, we can demand equal pay, we can be world leaders, experts and powerhouses, but we can’t ask guys out, because hey, you’ll make a new pal instead of find a mate.
Well, I’ll enjoy my newfound male friends’ company, and stick with my decision to ask out guys when I want to, and be just fine with that.