New to the workforce? Welcome, darling. Grab some coffee, take a seat and get ready to learn all about office email lingo. As well as, how to cope when it feels like you’re on-board the Titanic and, where instead of offering you a spot on a tiny door, Rose is actually the one throwing you off. It’s not as bad as it sounds, really, but you will soon understand why it’s a relevant point – more on this, later.
Right, my duck, let’s get cracking on office email lingo.
“Thanks in advance.”
Probably the most irritating phrase used in the corporate world. This person is basically saying that you will do what they have asked, and you will not ask any questions. Quite rude, tbh.
How to reply: “I will have it with you, as soon as I can.” The next step is move it to the bottom of your to-do list, forget about it and then, get to it when you feel ready and, when the person starts to sweat a little.
Not sure why people use this in emails. You’re not out for drinks. So, for all those who use this, please just say “Thank you”. There’s no need to remind people that they aren't out.
How to reply: Maybe send them an image of a drink cheersing? Or, just say “You’re welcome”.
“Do the needful.”
How old are you?
How to reply: If you have no idea what they are on about, just ask. Or, to really provoke the person in question (not wise, but hey, it’s your life – I’m nothing but a silent admirer), reply to the medieval being’s email with, “Which is?”
“I understand that you are overwhelmed, but it all lies with time management skills.”
A never-ending battle this one. The person on the other end is basically saying, “quit whining and get on with it.” After screaming both internally and externally for about 10 minutes, I pull up my trousers and "do the needful, in due time". Which means I take my sweet time and, whatever can’t be done, simply doesn’t get done.
How to reply: “I will try harder, thank you for the great advice.” Better, relevant advice should soon follow.
“Can you work a bit longer tonight?”
Nice of them to ask, some people don’t.
How to reply: “Sure but, can I come in later tomorrow, or leave earlier tomorrow?” It shows them that you are happy to help, but will not do so, without reward.
Run girl, run. Your line-manger/colleague has had enough and, you’d best think of something to make the situation better, fast. OR, you guys were discussing something and have agreed that “going forward”, you will a) do certain things differently or b) change your focus, all together.
How to reply: If you find yourself in the first situation, you’d best set up a meeting, ASAP. If, it’s the second, agree and say, “Yes, going forward, we will….”. Restating what has been agreed, is a good way of proving that you were paying attention. It’s also a great way of ensuring that you are both on the same page. You know, in case you dosed off and now, need to make sure that you know what you’re doing, “going forward”.
“See below email.”
Did you not read it? Can you not summarize it? Would you like it, if I just forwarded my emails to you? ANSWER ME, Susan!
How to reply: “Thank you for forwarding that on. Much appreciated. What are your thoughts on the email” – that way, Susan gon' have to stop being lazy and, actually help out. If they have passed on an email that has nothing to do with them or they are actually helping out, just say “Thank you, much appreciated.”
I’ll stop there, for now. I care about you, and wouldn’t you to be overwhelmed.
Let’s move on to the Titanic situation, I mentioned earlier.
The "Titanic" Situation, What It Is, The Signs You’re In One And, How To Get Your Own Tiny Door
What Exactly Is The "Titanic" Situation?
Pretty much a sinking ship. Only, not a ship. It’s you and your current work situation.
Signs Your Slowing Succumbing To A Slow, Cold, Painful End – Again, I’m being dramatic – might just be my current mood caused due to lack of sleep…
The signs to look out for include:
- A change in your colleagues/ line-managers tone
- Your colleagues are starting to distance themselves
- You’re getting less to do
- You’re not being included in office meetings or, talks of future plans
- You’re now being asked to write detailed on your time and expenses
- You’ve received a pay cut
How to make a come-back or, a graceful exit...
- Ask to set-up a meeting and have a mental list of questions or concerns ready
- As hard as it is, do not change your attitude – stay professional
- Do not gossip about how you feel you are being treated differently – you will just speed up the sinking process
- If the matter cannot be resolved, brush up your CV and start applying in your free time. Once you have found something, hand in your resignation letter and sincerely thank them for everything, that they and the company have done for you. DO NOT be petty and, do not ruin your reputation over an unfortunate situation.
I hope that this article proves useful. I want you to remember that you are capable of anything and, that you should never feel like you do not belong. Be patient with yourself and your situation and, remember that you are new to the workforce. So, don’t come in with a “know it all” attitude, you will cause trouble for yourself. Instead, consider yourself to be a sponge and soak in as much information as possible.
All the best and, I’m here if you ever need anything.