It’s December 17, which means that everyone you know is either going on leave or already on it. And, you’re sat here, reading this article (thanks for that), patiently waiting for your chance to bounce.
Must be hard, waiting your chance to unwind after weeks of hard work in a seemingly thankless work environment, I feel you. The last time somebody thanked me, was when I held the door open in 2009 (I still hold doors open, it’s that no one notices anymore – what a generation to be a part of, ey?).
So, what are we going to do while we wait for our turn to take a break from our nine to five? We could throw a pity party but, I feel like that will just make time go slower – I’ve tried and can, comfortably and confidently, tell you that it makes the day go A LOT slower.
Determined to not get fired and to keep up with my mission of informing and entertaining you, I’ve spent the last few hours researching all things travel related to help us have the best holiday, because we deserve it (and, because I know that you will probably leave it to the last minute).
Before I continue, I will not be telling you where to go in 2019, saving that for another article and, I’ve spent waaaaaay* (*sorry the “a” got stuck and I just decided to leave it in for emphasis) too much time waiting for time to pass, so I don’t have enough time to write them all today, I’m afraid. But if you want a suggestion, click here.
Sorry, I’m rambling a bit. Must be a side effect of all the coffee – need to justify all the walking I’ve been doing. So, I stretch my legs and come back with a cuppa. Good to use as an excuse, bad for jitters.
Anyways, back to this holiday. My mission for this article is to prepare you for the perfect holiday. In the sense of what books to bring with you, what words you’d need to know and the like.
If you’re still with me, I’d like to start now...
Useful Lingo and Phrases if you’re traveling to one of the three cities: Paris, Barcelona and Cape Town
What it means: “Where is?” A simple, yet useful phrase. I like that.
What it means: “How much is it?” A sentence that many of us ask before casually walking away once we find out that a cardigan is almost as expensive as our monthly rent.
La carte, s’il vous plait
What it means: “The menu, please”.
Tip: Always ask for a menu. I once waited at a café for 20 minutes before losing my… patience.
Je ne peux pas manger
What it means: “I can’t eat”. A very useful phrase for vegans and everyone else convinced they have a make-believe food intolerance *blinks slowly*.
What it means: You need to travel more or, read a book. Just kidding, it means “hello”, but if you didn’t know, please do the needful.
What it means: “I’m sorry”. As in, lo siento for any feelings that may have been hurt by the previous translation.
What it means: “What’s happening?” Great for when you can’t find your way home. I once got lost on the same road for about two hours. Every time I turned back, nothing looked familiar. It was the trippiest experience, ever.
What it means: “Do you speak English?”, also known as cheating. Half the fun of travelling is having no idea what is going on or what anyone is saying.
What it means: “Nice/ cool man” or even “thanks!” Not a term meant to cause caution or fear – bit rude if that’s what you thought. I have more to say on this but I like my job very much.
What it means: “Nice!”
Tip: Pronounce the “e” as an “a” and, you could just pass as a tourist, who is not fresh off the plane.
What it means: “Ouch”. You’d never use this word there but it’s pretty cute.
What it means: “How’s it going?”
Tip: Say this and every rugby player and surfer dude will immediately become your closest friend.
Books to take with you
“Milk & Honey” by Rupi Kaur
Best for: Those who like illustrations and some pretty sick quotes on being a strong, fearless woman.
Also Good For: Those who don’t mind that there are absolutely no punctuation marks in any of Kaur’s sentences.
“Humans Of New York” by Brandon Stanton
Best For: Those who love learning about new people and the many challenges and journeys we all go through.
Also Good For: Those who like New York.
“Into The Wild” By Jon Krakauer
Best For: Those in need of a break from everyone and everything.
Also Good For: Those who appreciate nature?
Gadgets to take with you
A power bank
Why: Your love of selfies will drain your battery. And, as much as I dislike our generation’s need to take so many pictures of themselves, I do like seeing people be happy. Even if they look a bit self-obsessed.
Note: At no point will I ever accept or excuse just how ridiculous people look when they make that STUPID duck face pose thing.
A water bottle
Why: Water in Europe be expensive, yo. And, bringing your own H2O container is better for the environment.
Why: Because we are a socially awkward bunch, who need the Calm app at all times. Also, music really does make time go faster and does wonders at blocking out the sound of crying kids. And, apps like Google Translate and Waze make travel A LOT easier.
Those uncomfortable yet comfortable neck pillow thingies
Why: They help people sleep, I’ve been told. Never worked for me. Did, however, do wonders at establishing personal space – long story short, I was on a 10 hour to Cape Town and used it to gently tap the lady who kept using me as a pillow. Five gentle taps later, she moved and I slept rather well.
Why: For comfort and because wearing flip flops on flights is rather gross. Lo siento.
I’m gonna leave you now. The words are starting looking a bit blurry now and, if I continue to sit for pro-longed periods of time, people are going to expect that from me and I can’t have that. Happy holidays peeps, if you need more distractions – click here, here and here. As well as here, here and here.