Oh hello there, nice of you to stop by and read the feature. Guessing you related to the title? Can’t we all, girl? No really, during the research phase of this piece, I’ve come to find that almost everyone is dating or has dated a “Dubai Guy”.
If you’re new to the party *waves*, grab some tea and a note pad, because we are going to dive deep into the subject.
Ready? Let’s begin...
What is a Dubai Guy?
A Dubai Guy is a dude (notice how I don’t say guy or man – this is partially due to repetition – I’m a pro of sorts; and because men don’t act like boys) who has just moved to Dubai (lived in the city for less than two years) and who has gone from being the nicest person to being the biggest narcissist you’ve ever met. The exact cause of this is not yet known but research suggests that it’s due to the city’s love of glitz and glamour.
Signs That You’re Dating A Dubai Guy:
While every city has its beloved group of men who can’t seem to give you a straight answer, you’ve come to find that most guys here just really can’t give you a concreate response when it comes to what they want.
During our quest to understand why this is, we asked a group of guys (men that have lived here for more than three years), and the best answer we got was as follows, *clears throat*: “Imagine moving to a city that’s home to everything you’ve ever wanted and, more. You have an urge to see as much as possible in as little time as possible, as you don’t know just how long you have in this magical utopia. So, you prioritise yourself.” As harsh as that sounds, it does make sense.
Let’s have a sip of that delicious tea, shall we?
All good? Now, let’s take a deep breath, because my next topic is bound to wind you up, a little.
Dubai Guy Lingo: What He Really Means and What You Should Do Instead
I’d really like to come but I need to wash my car.”
What he means: “That sounds pretty boring, but thanks for the invite.”
What you should do: Move on. Sorry, that was a bit harsh. What I meant to say was “girl open your eyes, he isn’t interested.” Either that, or he really, really loves his car, which means that he will probably never love you as much as he loves it.
“I’d really love to come to your very important, probably career-related, event but I have to go to the gym.”
What he means: Just that, actually.
What you should do: This is similar to the car story, only he’s the car in this scenario. So, while he may like you – he likes himself just a tad bit more. Now, before you turn the page or roll your eyes so far back, that you can see your brain, listen up. I’m not saying that every guy who works out is bad or doesn’t value you. What I’m saying is, if you like a guy enough to invite him to a work event, where your fellow colleagues will be there, he’d best appreciate it and at least come for a little bit, even if it’s late. If he doesn’t budge – buy yourself a good book, make some tea and/or, go for a walk. Don’t stress eat and do not cancel any more of your plans to accommodate his. Repeat after me: “I am not a doormat and I matter.”
“I’ll be there after brunch.”
What he means: “I will be there a bit late, with a few friends that you’ve never met or heard of before, and I’ll be probably be hungry.
What you should do: Ask to meet another day, for breakfast – preferably. The last thing you need is to be upset when you are just as entitled to enjoy your day off as he is.
“Are you free after 10pm?”
What he means: “I really want to see you but I want to go to the gym and wash my car first.”
What you should do: First of all does he even have a job? Is he a doctor? DJ? A late show radio presenter? If he’s none of the above then – what’s he playing at? Does he even sleep?! Some people are just so inconsiderate. Sorry, my inner granny just couldn’t be contained anymore. I’m fine now, she’s listening to Mozart and knitting, *blinks slowly, one eye-lid at a time*. Meeting really late for a walk or ice-cream is fine, every now and then. But every single time? Girl, you’re going to get fired for being so tired all the time and, any man who really cares about you, won’t let that happen. So – find yourself a man that works decent-ish hours, has some form of time management and respects you enough to let you sleep. Mmkaay?
“I’m not free this weekend but I can see you on Sunday.” Repeat every Thursday.
What he means: “I don’t want to be tied down, I like you but not enough to see when you when I’m actually free.”
What you should do: Dump him, immediately. Any man who’s happy to be there during the week and not when he’s actually free, is not worth your time. You’re basically a free therapist or a fun distraction to help him get through his 9 to 5.
“I really like you but…”
What he means: “I really like you, honestly, but I’m not ready to commit to anything or anyone. Please don’t make this awkward or want more. However, I’m happy to keep hanging out. Just don’t ask for a label.”
What you should do: The infamous “but”, as soon as you hear this – imagine a lanky ginger saying the above to you. That’s me. I feel you girl but you need to accept that some guys just aren’t ready. It has nothing to do with you. So, accept it with grace, and move on.
I’m aware that this article really isn’t the happiest but I think that sometimes accepting the harsh reality of a situation is better than living in a bubble and ending up hurt every three to six months. So, what I would suggest is that you focus on yourself.
Focus on being the best version of you there is. Someone (my mum) once told me that “true love finds you and if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
Now, that doesn’t mean that you lock yourself up in your house for days or weeks on end – the only guy you’ll meet is the delivery boy – who I’m sure is great but may not be what you’re looking for.
No, what I’m saying is sometimes people tell you exactly what they want and need but you choose to ignore it or, only partially listen. It’s what my sister (who is a trained psychologist) describes as the “exception rule”, where every girl thinks that she can change or help a guy become just who she needs or “make him the best possible version of himself”. The key to breaking this cycle to listen and accept things as they are.
How To Heal
Being “with” someone indecisive in every aspect of the word can be hard and can have a great impact your mental state – been there. So, to help you nurture your soul, I’ve devised a list of activities to help you do just that.
Put the phone down
This will help you reconnect with yourself and really appreciate your surroundings. It will even make you more approachable. And, who doesn’t love a guy with confidence?
Take up boxing
Because punching someone is bad and will probably land you in an orange jumpsuit, it’s best to take out your anger on a bag. The benefits of boxing (increased physical and mental strength) are great, too.
Have some “me” time
If you’ve been through a rough breakup or several breakups, the best way to heal is to start with yourself. Take the time to figure out what you want. You may even find that there were a few things that you did to enable his behaviour.
Right, I’m going to leave you now. But remember that you’re a strong, independent woman who’s capable of anything and everything. I believe in you and have a great feeling that your friends and family do, too.