Girl, let’s get real for a sec, everyone struggles with self-confidence in one way or the other. And to be quite frank, the world we are living in isn’t making it any easier.
Most of what we see in social media/general media are people with perfect bodies and folk who seem to be having the time of their lives. We know that none of that is real! I know it has been said before, but I feel it’s important to remind ourselves that perfect lives don’t exist y’all!
Honestly, I don’t wake up with perfect hair. I’m blessed with extremely curly hair and wake up with a huge wild afro (not even kidding, it takes a village to tame this beast). My eyes and face don’t look sexy in the morning. I look tired as hell! And YASS! I woke up this.
In my career, I’ve had my highs and lows. I have been hired, fired, gotten rejection letters, and even at one point, I was told I wasn’t good enough (yap, that happened). But hey, I’m still standing!
I have learnt that when we credit our self-confidence based on our skills, looks or external validation, the way we perceive our worth will constantly change. Some days will be awesome and you will feel great. But, there will also be days when you feel like the universe is conspiring against you (and that’s ok. We’ve all been there).
What if you were to embrace who you are and where you are no matter what? Remove everyone and everything from the equation and just focus on you. That worked in my favour. Today I compiled some amazing practical tips that really helped me out when I felt like a big pile of mess (I still do sometimes). I hope they will glam you up to be queen that you already are.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
I know it’s not easy to do this, but my dear it’s not impossible. It’s all in your mind-set. You have to constantly remind yourself that this is you and you are uniquely you. Embrace that. When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, take notice of what you admire in them and ask yourself why? Once you become self-aware you will be able to overcome the comparison game with much ease. Check out this video for more tips.
2. Build competence.
We all want be good in something. I find that when I place effort in the things I love and constantly build my competence, it makes me feel like a badass. Even when I make mistakes (which has happened a lot), I’ve learnt to be patient with myself and take something from every experience. I am so glad I bumbed into this video. Be sure to have a look.
3. Celebrate your mistakes.
Mistakes and I are great buddies. Girl, we go all the way back. This buddy of mine sits on my shoulder and constantly reminds me, “Well that didn’t work out!”
Most people perceive slip-ups as failure. But I choose to celebrate them because they have made me a much better person. When you aren’t scared to mess up, something about that just makes you feel invincible.
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4. Make your own goals and crush them.
Setting your mind to something, working toward it and finally achieving it, is just a magical experience. No matter how small it is. You can wake up today and be like, “Hey, I made my bed!” It’s something within your control and every little action helps.
On a serious note though, what makes your soul roar? or makes you mind run wild? Figure that out and make small achievable steps to make it happen. BTW, when you are too busy building your empire, you got less time directing energy towards what people say or think.
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5. Treat yourself.
Babe, love yourself like you aren’t waiting for anyone else to do so. Take yourself shopping, buy yourself a nice meal, or even book yourself a getaway ticket to place you have always wanted to go. Just do whatever you want to do. Fall in love with taking care of your body, soul and mind. The minute you master that, trust me you will have low tolerance of people who treat you as less than what you’re worth.
My personal fav thing to do is dancing in my pjs with headphones on and just ‘Tom Cruise‘ around my house looking messy as hell. That makes me feel like am walking on air.
You are so much better than you think. If you believed in unicorns and the tooth-fairy as a child, I am sure you can believe in yourself for a second.